I know it's a controversial topic but I noticed a lot of people searching
the internet for "why do girls lie so much." So I'll start by quoting
the words of the great Dr. House "Everybody Lies.” But since it's a world
driven by men, they think that women are the only ones who lie in a
relationship or may be all the time. Well, this might be true, but men lie too –
some all the time, especially when they are in a relationship. A fact I read a
few days or weeks ago went something like this;
"Men lie twice as much in a relationship, as compared to women"
and being a man, I agree to this fact that men do lie a lot in
relationships, but that can be regarded as love or protecting your loved ones because
people are so afraid of losing that they would do just about anything to stay
close to their loved ones, even if it means lying to them, when the situation
requires them to be honest. This thing goes both ways because women lie for the
same reasons as men do. This thing has been going on since the dawn of men and
women. So what is to be done here?
Stop Judging:
I blame the movies and TV series for this one. Because
they make it look so cool, someone being know-it-all. I blame Sherlock Holmes
for this more, because that bastard judges everyone. But then again, Shirley is
rarely wrong about people. Why? Because his judgment is based on facts and
logic and he's a fictional character so he can afford to be wrong. You are not,
so you cannot judge, especially the person you are in a relationship with, even
if you have a feeling in your gut that they might be lying to you.
Be Considerate and Communicate:
Assuming negative things is a bad
idea when in a relationship because assuming leads to all sorts of
misconceptions such as thinking that the one you love is lying to you! The best
way to deal with this problem is to ‘Communicate’. This advice is for both men
and women. Women, you have to understand that men were never psychic and they
probably never will be (evolution doesn't works that fast). I know that you
want the one you love to understand you, but that is not going to happen unless
you tell him things in a clear manner. Leaving things on the universe will let
things spiraling around and it will come back to bite you in the ass. Same goes
for men as well, if you want to say something, say it or write it – I find
writing a better way to express things because it allows you to keep your
thoughts composed and helps you say what you want to say in a clear manner.
Don’t be Mad – Be Reasonable:
I
have a great friend on facebook and she gets mad at me quiet often. I know
people might say that it’s not the same as being in a relationship and I know
it’s kinda not. What I’m trying to say is that, we all know how long online
friendships lasts and at the first sign of fight or an offence, we curse and
block each other, especially if the other person is a random stranger or
someone you’ve just known for 6 months or so. I managed to pull this friendship
this far only because I never made a decision when either one of was mad. There
have been plenty of times when she was mad at me (mostly because of something I
said or something she read wrong), but I didn’t ran away to the delete and
block options just because she heard me wrong or I heard her wrong. Almost all of
the times, I slept over her being mad at me and/or me being mad at her, and
looked at things in the morning with a fresh mind and guess what? She’s still
my friend.
When you are mad, you make the worse decisions of your life. Just keep that
in mind!
“All fingers are not the same” – Proverb
Judging someone is wrong and even more so when you do it based on your past
experiences. You cannot judge someone based on your assumptions. Everyone has faults;
it is what makes them different. Learn to live with it and try not to change
it. When you poke at faults in each other, it will lead to nowhere good. When
you assume things instead of communicating, it will create misconceptions and complicate
things. Most importantly, all of it will eventually damage the trust the two of
you have and when trust is lost, it is over for the both of you.
Please leave a comment and correct me if I am wrong or mistakenly offended anyone. Because I never meant to be either one. I know my perspective and yours will be obviously different. So no need to argue on that. thanks for reading. :)